Without MJ, Jackson Brothers Bland And Boring

CLEVELAND - Watching "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" on television last night began as a curiosity, then descended into intense boredom and ultimately embarrassment. Featuring brothers Jackie, Jermaine, Marlon and Tito, this shameless "reality show" ignored its most glaring reality.

Without Michael Jackson, the other brothers suck.

I hate to say it, but that has been fact for 40 years now. The fact that these four non-descript middle aged men are appearing in their own "mini-series" on A&E less than six months after Michael's death feels curiously and suspiciously suspect and opportunistic. But I won't venture into that territory. Instead, I want to condemn this farce as arguably the most worthless piece of trash in the history of American television. Its only appeal is in examining what the brothers were feeling after that horrible news came to the world on June 25, 2009.

Because of the white-hot luminosity of Michael's mega stardom, the other brothers never had a chance of being worthwhile. That was obvious even in 1969, when an 11-year old Michael enraptured the crowd and television audiences on The Ed Sullivan Show with his singing and awesome stage presence. The other brothers were in the background for a reason and should never have been allowed on center stage. It's not that they're completely terrible or totally untalented, it's just that they can't be evaluated without being compared to Michael's stunning brilliance and groundbreaking career. It was very telling when, during a scene in the debut episode the brothers arrived at a dance studio to work on some moves. While we are being forced to try and look at these guys on their own merits, their 1978 hit "Shake Ya Body (Down to the Ground)" blares over the speakers with Michael's indelible and magnificent voice filling the room singing the lead vocals. At that moment, it is shown very subtly that Michael Jackson was overqualified to even be a member of the Jackson family.

I'm just sayin'.

Of course, there was the usual bickering and petty disagreements between the brothers and too many seemingly fake moments, but what was most appalling is how every time an interviewer asked the brothers if they were financially capitalizing on Michael's death, they issued truly inane rejoinders that went something like "how can we capitalize off something we created together?" In other words, these delusional wiseguys feel as though they were all equal to Michael, you know the man that authored a litany of legendary albums and music videos and became the most iconic and popular entertainer in history.

Um, yeah.

There was another moment in the show where Jackie, Marlon and Tito visited a record store. As they perused the CD section marked "Jackson," they ran across a multitude of family hits. There were several classics from Michael and a few from his fellow family icon Janet and maybe two or three Jackson 5 records. Marlon marveled at the expansive collection that his family had at the store and mumbled to Tito proudly, "we need our own division." I couldn't help but shake my head in disbelief. Will these guys ever understand that "we" is far too strong a word for what the legendary Michael Jackson accomplished on his own? That Janet Jackson accomplished on her own? Beyond those two seminal figures, the Jackson clan is far from being a dynasty.

Delusional and irrelevant is more like it.