CLEVELAND - Michael Jackson lay motionless in his bed around noon on June 25, 2009. In his bedroom, a frantic and nervous doctor noticed that the legendary entertainer wasn't breathing. Simultaneously, millions of people across the U.S., unaware of what was happening to MJ at that moment, perceived him as a once-amazing talent that had long ago become an embarrassing sideshow. Within a few hours, those same people reconfigured their perception of the man and began expressing sympathy and grief over his sudden and Earth shattering death.
All of those people need to go to hell.
Head shaking as it is, today marks the one year anniversary of Michael's departure from life. It was an unspeakably horrific day for me personally and for the tens of millions of his fans globally. I still have a difficult time accepting it as reality, even though Michael was such an emotionally fragile and sensitive person who was forced to deal with a pressure cooker of a life for 45 years. I look back on that dark Thursday with endless contempt and impossible bitterness.
I've thought about the man's life in great detail. His successes were of epic magnitude. His failures were tragic and colossal. And although Michael Jackson was perceived by many as the ultimate oddball and a raging weirdo, the truth is, he was very much like the common man. He only wanted to be loved and admired. He was blessed with a gigantic amount of talent, yet he was also prone to making bad choices and being irresponsible. He had several lapses in judgement just as we all do, but none of that should ever overshadow what he was truly about.
He wanted to make the world a better place.
Long ago, it became the "cool thing to do" for many people to not only criticize Michael, but to completely assassinate his character and spew some of the most vitriolic hate ever conceived towards him. In the years after Michaelmania dominated the U.S. and abroad in 1983 and 1984, Michael began being vilified and mocked for his constantly changing facial appearance, his reclusive and eccentric lifestyle and for the failings of his music to eclipse the impossibly high standards of his historic
Thriller album. Years after those criticisms began, he was mutilated in the media and court of public opinion for what many considered to be his seemingly seedy relationship with pre-teen and teen boys.
It may seem as though the mid-1980's was the beginning of the sniping at MJ, but in reality, his entire life had been that way. Since he was a child, he was forced to support his family through intense dedication to his music career. True, his brothers were all a part of The Jackson 5, but with Michael being the lead singer and far and away the biggest talent, the pressures on him were greater, and he wasn't yet 10 years old. He had to endure heavy criticism because of his nose, which even family members mocked and took to calling him "big nose." For a kid who was already sensitive, that sort of attack was almost too much to take. It heavily shattered his spirit. Then as an adolescent, he endured the cruel effects of acne to his soon-to-be-adult face. Of course, he was made fun of for having "so many spots" on his face.
The level of pressure that was upon Michael Jackson during the late '60's and throughout the '70's was incredible. Not only did he have to excel musically for the sake of his family and others in the music industry with a vested interest in him, he had to do so with a face that was constantly frowned at and mocked. He didn't have the luxury of hiding. His face was public property.
He began to flex his muscles as an adult solo artist in 1978 when he turned 20 and co-starred in "The Wiz." Shortly thereafter, he crafted his masterpiece
Off The Wall album which launched him into orbit on the path to megastar. Beneath it all, he was more ambitious than he'd ever been, yet very insecure. He had been tethered to his brothers for years and now, he was finally developing his own sound and legacy.
Of course,
Off The Wall became a huge success in an unexpected way but the phenomenon that came with the late 1982 release of
Thriller was beyond comprehension. That seminal era, early 1983 through late 1984 was owned by Michael. The entire U.S. was consumed by his music, style and artistic trademarks and his work sold in record numbers. The
Thriller era was such a charmed, fairy-tale time for Michael that it felt almost too good to be true.
As it turns out, it was.
Michael had been a man who could do no wrong during the whirlwind dominance of
Thriller and its accompanying music videos. When he and his brothers ended the Victory Tour in late 1984, it was as if the clock struck midnight for Cinderella. Beginning in early 1985, the immense love affair that the public had with Michael began to fade. I remember this time vividly, even though I wasn't yet eight years old. Over the next 2 and a half years, his character took major hits in the media for his various eccentricities and lack of a new album. By the time
Bad, the highly anticipated follow-up to
Thriller debuted in August 1987, he had been getting major criticisms for his much lighter skin tone as well as other modifications to his face. It occurred to me that the man did exactly what many people would do if they had been in his shoes and had the means. Remember, he had been ridiculed since childhood by people (including members of his own family) and thus, carried a complex about his nose in particular and his face in general. If I were subjected to that and I was a multi-millionaire, I would have made changes as well.
During the last 20 years of his life, the criticisms and insults grew harsher and more insidious every moment. There were complaints about his record sales which were still awesome but always fell short of the juggernaut that was
Thriller. MJ was already a notorious perfectionist, so he naturally put tons of pressure on himself to please his public. As his skin appeared more and more pale white and his face changed shape often, endless jokes and repudiation of the man fell upon him. No one believed he suffered from the skin disease vitiligo as he stated. Instead, they poked fun at him, called him a liar and hurled insults at him.
No one bothered to care about what pushed him to remodel his face. No one cared that his skin lightening was essential to even out what the disease was doing to his color. Imagine having to deal with that from a few people. Michael had to deal with a nation of people ganging up on him.
Then, the child molestation charges that effectively turned him into a pariah. Sure, it is bad judgement for a grown person to surround themselves with underage kids. It is also puzzling as to why and how Michael ended up in the same situation a second time after the horror of the first time. What people ignore is that Michael isn't an average Joe. Yes, he was an adult. But he was an adult who surrendered his childhood in favor of an entertainment career. The significance of that is it explains why he took to creating a childhood as an adult that he never experienced as a child. He may have been an excellent businessman, but he certainly didn't see himself as an adult. From what I saw, he looked at himself as a 10-year old boy and thus, saw nothing wrong with being around young boys.
To him, they were his "peers."
His thinking was clearly unconventional, but when such epic success isolates a person, it becomes understandable. Remember, Michael's closest female friends were women who were sometimes decades older than he; Diana Ross, Liza Minnelli, Elizabeth Taylor, Jane Fonda and Katherine Hepburn. He always tried to surround himself with people who best understood him or whom he could truly connect with and relate to.
People ignore the fact that Michael spent his adult life donating endless amounts of his time, energy, emotions and money to countless charities. Children were his inspiration and he loved them. No one gives as much as he did without genuinely caring for the cause they're supporting. Not only that, but it was disclosed several months ago that MJ had been under surveillance by the FBI for 13 years and nothing was found that showed him to be a molester. In sum, he was acquitted after a trial in 2005 and the FBI found nothing improper on him, but no one ever mentions those things. Instead, he gets castigated for what was actually just allegations against an easy target and the possible "appearance" of impropriety. People label him a pedophile as though it was ever proven.
Add another stress inducer to his life.
I'm not saying that Michael didn't bring any of this on himself. He certainly placed himself in compromising situations, but he never deserved such malicious treatment by people. It infuriates me that so many people say such nice things about him now that he's gone, but never would have done that while he was alive. Jay Leno was always delivering below-the-belt jokes about him, but now speaks of him like he's a beloved icon, which he is, but Leno never spoke that way before.
I read unbelievably cruel comments all the time from idiots who continue to disparage Michael, even in death. It just further underlines the hell that MJ had to deal with daily while millions sat back and judged him. Those same people are hypocrites who clearly know nothing about class and love.
I will forever love Michael and I will use this awful anniversary as another opportunity to appreciate the gift that God gave us.
Michael Jackson forever.
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