Michael's Stature Was On Par With World Leaders

CLEVELAND - Michael Jackson's shocking and sudden death has triggered an unprecedented outpouring of grief around the globe and extensive television coverage.

He deserves every bit of it.

Michael was very dear to me, but I speak with a lot of objectivity when I say this; Michael Jackson was on par with royalty and world leaders. Many people see the massive media interest and coverage as being overblown and excessive. Why would a pop star, albeit a very talented one receive such adulation and attention?

Very simple.

Michael was far more than a pop star or an amazing entertainer. His music was equal parts entertainment and inspiration. He wrote and sang songs that were meant to engender change in the world. He touched so many with his singing and dancing and could make a dying child's day by merely showing up. He was a transformative figure that millions of people grew up admiring and revering. Michael Jackson was the original Twitter; millions upon millions followed him and wanted to know what he was doing because he meant something to them. The child sensation that was Michael had found his way into the hearts of so many in the early 1970's because of his jaw-dropping talent and stage presence.

During his prime in the 1980's, the music of the seminal Thriller album captured the world's attention and became a cultural touchstone for even non-listeners of his genre of music. He made people relax and get hyper all at the same time and could make anyone smile just from hearing him speak. In short, he made enormous amounts of people happy.

Michael's iconic music videos and music and dancing and glitter glove and penny loafers became such staples in people's lives all over the world, that he truly felt like someone that we owned -- or at least, a close friend or family member that we'd "known for years."

Michael gave extraordinary amounts of time and money to worthy causes; he was proactive in trying to improve our world. He was shy, sensitive, emotional and soft-spoken and we found that adorable. Even when he exhibited odd behavior and made us shake our heads, we still held reverence for "the good ol' days" of him. People that grew angry at him and were turned off by the child molestation allegations still had their great memories of the man.

Seeing the way people fawned over him for decades internationally in remote locales such as China, Australia and Japan was surreal; here was a guy that started out as a poor kid from a midwestern American ghetto that had ascended so high that he had become an international obsession and a beloved hero of epic proportions.

Truly stunning.

Michael made the world a better place through his music and his philosophy. He made people all over the planet smile. He made us happy. He gave us some of our greatest ever memories and moments. He was about love and togetherness. Being so extensively honored by the entire planet now is the least we can do.

He was truly royalty.

With Michael, The World Was Hypocritical Idiots

CLEVELAND - Michael Jackson has been hailed as a beloved icon by media and fans alike during the past few days since he tragically left us. But truthfully, Michael was always torn apart by critics and the general public during his life for his every decision and even his appearance.

Typical and hypocritical.

What angers me most is how so many people judged him without realizing that he was always exactly like all of us; human. Each and every one of us was born with a talent for something that we felt confident about and excelled at. Michael was born with immense gifts and talents as a singer and dancer and when in the studio and on stage, he was a confident juggernaut. On the flip side, all of us have things about our physical appearance that we either don't like or flat out hate.

Everyone has insecurities.

We don't like our hair. Our eyes are too close together. Our nose is too big. We hate that gap in our teeth. We're too short. Our hips are too wide. Our arms are too flabby. Our skin is too dark.

If we could change those things, we would do it in a heartbeat.

Michael clearly had things about his physical appearance that he didn't like. He had millions of dollars, so he was able to make changes as he saw fit. Maybe we think that he went too far in his facial alterations, but it was his life and he had the final say on his choices -- just like all of us. Not everyone would agree with our changes either. If someone tells us we were "fine the way we are," we would still get the changes done if we had the money because if we don't feel good about how we look, no one else's opinion will matter.

Each and every one of us have made bad decisions, exhibited poor judgement and made mistakes that we haven't learned from. But whenever Michael did questionable and ill-advised things, the world crucified him. He hung out with children and got accused of molesting one in 1993. He avoided a trial by reaching a financial settlement with his accuser's family. Then a decade later, he got into the same situation but had to stand trial. Everyone talked about how dumb he was for letting it happen again, but no one ever though about the fact that many of us get burned by the same dumb choices for years in our own lives.

People say that Michael got away with child molestation when he was acquitted in 2005. In truth, all of us are unconvicted felons. We're domestic abusers, drug dealers and statutory rapists. We pass bad checks, break and enter, aid and abet, claim other people's children on our taxes, extort and blackmail. In Michael's situation, he was accused twice and nothing was ever proven. We know for a fact that we commit crimes. We only assume he did, yet he gets the criticism and we say nothing of ourselves.

Ridiculous.

We are extremely immoral. We fornicate shamelessly. We commit adultery. We are promiscuous. We abuse our children. We lie to our parents. We use profanity around children and senior citizens. Michael spends plenty of time with children trying to create a pseudo-childhood for himself since he was robbed of his own and the world thinks he's the devil. We see his tenderness and selflessness with children in his record-setting humanitarian efforts. We see him travel the globe visiting terminally ill kids and getting close to them to make their day and lift their spirits. We hear his heartfelt songs that call for making the world a better place, yet he is vilified as if none of this exists.

Unfair.

We are all addicts. We abuse drugs and alcohol. We abuse food and sex. We smoke for decades instead of using that money (tens of thousands of dollars) for more beneficial purposes. Michael gets addicted to pain killers and suddenly, he's a monster.

We spend money on clothes and shoes instead of paying bills but we dog Michael for his lavish spending. We criticize Michael and question the legitimacy of his marriages to Lisa Marie Presley and Debbie Rowe instead of focusing on our own failing relationships. We insist that he couldn't have possibly fathered his fair-skinned children because he's a black man, but many of us barely see or take care of our own children.

He was always there for his kids.

Michael was a shy and sensitive child that had the responsibility AS A CHILD to entertain ordinary people all over the world and disregard his own needs, wants and bedtimes. Most of us will never experience such pressure so therefore, the way we turn out will be the result of our life experiences. For Michael, an entire lifetime spent living up to everyone else's standards and being judged by what others feel to be "normal" was incredibly generous but also, simply ridiculous.

Being insulted and ridiculed for everything in his private life was the ultimate in hypocrisy and was tantamount to pure ignorance. If people spent more time cleaning out their own closet, the world would be a better place. Let's take the time to learn what path in life a person has travelled. Then maybe, we can try and understand the reasons why they are the way they are instead of tearing them down. Everyone is different, but not completely.

We all have so much in common.

Trying To Cope With The Nightmare Of Losing Michael

CLEVELAND - My immense pain has not subsided for the great Michael Jackson, but I have tried a coping mechanism that I've previously detested.

Remembering the great stuff.

Normally, when something tragic happens that affects me greatly, I become extremely grief-stricken. That has certainly happened the past couple days and as a result, I have been so hurt and overcome with emotion that I have been sad and stone-faced most of the time.

But after watching Michael's legendary music videos and stage performances on television, I have shockingly been cheered up. Being reminded of his king-sized talent, historic accomplishments, incredible philanthropy and record-setting humanitarian efforts, I actually smiled at all of it, especially, the enormous size heart that he had. The selflessness and far-reaching generosity he consistently showed to sick, hungry, dying and underprivileged people was unsurpassed.

Yes, I still cry a million tears over this unthinkable and colossal loss. But I am so blessed that God has given me guidance and the ability to be strong and even smile a little in spite of how miserable this nightmare has been for me.

I love you, Michael.

My Michael Has Left Me

CLEVELAND - As I sit here attempting to write something worthy of Michael Jackson's gigantic impact upon my entire life, my face is covered in an ocean of tears and my heart literally aches for him. Words cannot explain what that beautiful human being has meant to me always.

There's been a death in my family.

Jackson, 50 is probably the first man that I ever loved. He was the only man that stayed in my life and never left when I was a young child. I never knew my own father, and as long as I had Michael, that was more than good enough. Memories of him are indelible -- my aunt Trina, who is nearly 10 years older than I, brought Michael to my attention in 1982 when I was just 5. By 1983, the entire planet was madly in love with him largely because of his undeniably brilliant Thriller album.

My aunt was the ring leader of his fan club.

As a child in elementary school in the early 1980's, talking about Michael was a given. Fawning over him was unavoidable and emulating him was inevitable. I drew countless pictures of him and thanks to my wonderful mother Deborah, I owned replicas of his trademark dark shades, glittered glove, "Beat It" jacket and penny loafers.

I love my mother for caring so much about what mattered most to me; Michael Jackson.

I'll never forget how amazed I was at age 6 watching the historic "Thriller" video for the first time in December 1983 on "Friday Night Videos." My cousin Demetrius had told me about this amazing "movie" that he'd seen with Michael in it and I just had to see it.

The historic 1984 American Music Awards and Grammy Awards were so thrilling to my aunt and I because they both became a showcase for Michael. He captured an unbelievable 16 awards between the two shows in just a six week span. Between those awards shows was a near fatal accident on the set of a Pepsi commercial. Michael suffered second and third degree burns to his scalp when pyrotechnic sparks shot into his then-famous Jheri-curled hair.

I remember being terrified when news of this broke.

Throughout 1984, Thriller continued to steamroll the music industry and Michael kept on captivating the world. He was the most popular guy on the planet and inspired millions of imitators. His iconic Pepsi commercial, in which he and his brothers dance in the streets with a group of children including a 12-year old Alfonso Ribeiro was of course, re-enacted by my friends and I on our neighborhood streets. I collected dozens of the Pepsi cans that were issued in the summer of '84 in promotion of the Victory Tour, which were "autographed" by Michael and his brothers.

I'll never forget his electric magic on "Motown 25." I fondly look back on the days when I tried to perform those complicated dance steps, and the days when my best friend Jermaine wore a replica "Billie Jean" outfit to 3rd grade to the awe of everyone. Jermaine also had the great fortune of playing the part of Michael when us kids re-enacted the "Thriller" video.

I begged my mom to buy me the then-super popular Viewmaster and the "Thriller" cartridges to go with it. I loved it...but not as much as the Talking Viewmaster that I got later. My aunt had dozens of posters of Michael adorning her bedroom walls. Her jackets were covered in pins of him. She sang to him in the mirror. She had scrapbooks filled with pictures and articles and owned his calendars. That is where my love for Michael came from.

One of my great memories is when my mother moved heaven and earth to find someone that had cable television (it wasn't available in the Glenville neighborhood of Cleveland in 1984) so that I could watch a major event: "The Making of Thriller." A friend of hers picked us up and took us over their house to watch it. My mom was on my good list that night!

Though the horror-themed "Thriller" video scared a lot of kids, it never scared me. I only knew that I greatly enjoyed watching it and that is what inspired my purchase (with allowance) of the VHS tape, "Making Michael Jackson's Thriller."

That incredible Victory Tour was nothing short of awesome. Even though I was just 7 years old, I vividly remember going to the Cleveland Municipal Stadium on Saturday, October 20, 1984. I remember Michael on stage, breathtaking as he was, performing his incredible hits. I was armed with binoculars, but my almost 16-year old cousin Terry kept taking them from me to impress a cute girl that sat next to him. Looking back, I feel very privileged to be able to say with truthfulness that I saw Michael perform live and in person.

For the rest of the '80's, I wrote stories about him and continued to draw pictures. I tried to dance and sing like him and I begged my mother to pay for me to get a Jheri-curl just like his. I never got it, but it didn't stop me. I used to take a paper towel, soak it in water and lay it over top of my own hair. Then I would jerk my head and point my finger like Michael and pretend like the wet paper towel was a MJ Jheri-curl! When drops of water would fly from the paper towel, I would get so happy because that made it seem like real Jheri-curl moisturizer!

I also put strands of black thread on my forehead (held in place with hair grease) to simulate Michael's black curls and "baby hair."

I continuously recited Michael's parts from "We Are the World" in 1985 and I desperately wanted to go to Walt Disney World's Epcot Center to see Michael in "Captain EO" in 1986. When Bad, his follow-up to Thriller came out in August 1987, I was overjoyed. I loved his new look too; longer hair, lighter skin and outfits with buckles to replace the Thriller-era zippered jackets.

I re-enacted "The Way You Make Me Feel" music video at my 11th birthday party in 1988, just weeks before I went crazy over the release of his biography "Moonwalk." I drew pictures of the cover, which featured half of Michael's face in a close-up. I saw it in a book store priced at $16.95 and I begged my mother for it. She felt that it was too expensive, but I persisted. Eventually, my God-mother Claudine mentioned that she had a copy of it which drove me into a frenzy. She told me that she'd give it to me, so I bugged my mother to call her all the time when she wasn't coming over quick enough for my tastes.

When she finally brought it over, it was like a major event was taking place. I was ecstatic and promptly took to reading it. In early 1989, I got the "Moonwalker" VHS tape and watched it constantly. When Michael appeared on The Arsenio Hall Show as a surprise (during an interview with Eddie Murphy), I couldn't stop smiling. He earned a slew of awards in '89 naming him the entertainer of the decade.

Which was a major understatement.

With the release of the Dangerous album at the end of 1991, Michael had again surfaced with a new look. The "Black or White" video was highly cutting-edge and even though I was now a high-school freshman, I was still an insatiable Michael fan. The videos for "Remember the Time" and "In the Closet" were extraordinary, but when Michael teamed up with my other Michael love, Mr. Jordan for the "Jam" video, I was blown away.

The Super Bowl halftime show in 1993, during which Michael put on a large-scale production and performance was an instantly classic moment in his endless cache of classic moments. It was shortly after that performance that America began turning against Michael due to child-molestation allegations that had surfaced against him. I was upset about the charges, but I never believed them. Not because I was a die-hard fan, but because I paid attention to his words and actions and they made me understand his heart.

It was Michael's 1995 single, "You Are Not Alone" that enabled me to get through the utterly depressing days of my best friend Jermaine's departure. He left my side to go to the U.S. Navy which was horrible to me at the time. Michael's poignant words in the song seemed like Jermaine was speaking to me through Michael. To this day, I still get choked up listening to it and watching the video.

The rest of the '90's were an obscure time for Michael. That's one of the major reasons that I was so ecstatic when word came that he was releasing a new album in 2001.

That album, Invincible, was a financial and critical disappointment. But as I listened to the tracks on the disc, I became quite impressed. Besides the lead single "You Rock My World," there were many other songs (especially ballads) that I felt were among the best of his splendid career.

And that is saying a whole lot.

I was in disbelief when Michael was accused once again of child molestation in 2003. I saw the controversial interview with Martin Bashir and heard the stunning things that Michael said about Gavin Arviso, the 13-year old cancer survivor that eventually brought on the accusations. I concluded that Michael was not a criminal, but instead a man of occasionally poor judgement and a see-it-to-believe-it naivete that most folks just don't have at any age, let alone at age 44.

I knew the accusations were serious but in no way did I think that they would result in charges being issued and Michael would actually stand trial. It was stunning enough seeing him in handcuffs in November 2003, but actually being on trial was crazy.

To me.

It was March 2005 that the trial began, and I tuned in to any updates or conversations that I could find on television. The testimony upset me greatly, because remember, Michael was a family member in my book. When he showed up to court in pajamas in late March, I grew quite concerned and nervous. The way he looked seemed as if he was truly sick and that his life may be in jeopardy. Turns out, he was fine. One thing that I really admired about the daily trips to court was the way he dressed. While many criticized him for not wearing a "real suit," I was in awe of his meticulous style. He wore suits, but they were unique and very detailed with various designs and trims.

As always, a fashion icon.

When the jury began their deliberations on June 3, 2005, I was so nervous about a possible guilty verdict. The fact that it took ten long days to reach a verdict had me close to a nervous breakdown. My best friend Jermaine came to watch the reading of the verdict with me and when it came down (not guilty on all 10 charges), I cried and sobbed like a newborn baby. We embraced and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was eager to find out what Michael was going to do in the way of a comeback.

He was vindicated!

I celebrated heavily and even went as far as to persuade Jermaine and my cousin to drink wine out of Diet Coke cans with me. Reason being, during the trial, someone testified that Michael gave his alleged victims (teenaged boys) wine in Diet Coke cans and called it "Jesus Juice." I also played his music constantly, ecstatic over the verdict.

Of course, Michael disappeared after the trial. He moved out of the country and became even more scarce than normal. When 2007 rolled around, I had already been planning to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the Thriller album, so I was overjoyed when Michael appeared on the cover of Ebony magazine dressed in all white and looking like royalty. They even did an extensive interview with him about the impact of that seminal piece of history.

Earlier this year, Michael announced that he was going on tour for the final time in his career. I was excited of course, but my enthusiasm was tempered because the concerts were going to be in London, not the U.S. Even still, it put a huge smile on my face to find out that the entire tour sold out in mere minutes, raking in millions of dollars.

Then, yesterday happened.

When the news came down that Michael was in very serious condition at UCLA Medical Center after going into cardiac arrest, I was horrified but in disbelief. When I rushed to my computer and television, I began to have trouble breathing and I started having pains all over. I couldn't sit still and I had a nest of butterflies in my stomach.

I cried and shook. I kept all of my fingers crossed and my heart wouldn't stop racing. At that point, nothing was confirmed but I was still restless and scared. My phone kept ringing, e-mails and text messages poured in -- and I ignored them all. Not because I wanted to, but because I was froze. I literally was incapable of taking any calls.

When Michael's death was confirmed, I lost it. I could not handle the stunning shock and sudden finality of the situation. My mind was a blur of emotions and I fidgeted constantly. I watched the extensive coverage on television and tried to force myself to calm down. I knew that I would wind up in the hospital if I didn't settle myself down. Amazingly, I managed to relax a bit, but man was I bummed.

That's putting it mildly.

I can't talk too much more about this right now because it still hurts like hell and quite frankly, always will. I do want to say this though: Michael Jackson was the greatest, most creative genius that entertainment has ever known. His humanitarian efforts globally were unprecedented and served as irrefutable proof that he was a God-fearing man, kind and caring to the nth degree.

Michael was a member of my family because he was a member of my life from the time I was first able to remember anything. I love him so very much, and a huge piece of me died with him.

Thanks so much Michael. God rest your amazing soul.