Trying To Cope With The Nightmare Of Losing Michael

CLEVELAND - My immense pain has not subsided for the great Michael Jackson, but I have tried a coping mechanism that I've previously detested.

Remembering the great stuff.

Normally, when something tragic happens that affects me greatly, I become extremely grief-stricken. That has certainly happened the past couple days and as a result, I have been so hurt and overcome with emotion that I have been sad and stone-faced most of the time.

But after watching Michael's legendary music videos and stage performances on television, I have shockingly been cheered up. Being reminded of his king-sized talent, historic accomplishments, incredible philanthropy and record-setting humanitarian efforts, I actually smiled at all of it, especially, the enormous size heart that he had. The selflessness and far-reaching generosity he consistently showed to sick, hungry, dying and underprivileged people was unsurpassed.

Yes, I still cry a million tears over this unthinkable and colossal loss. But I am so blessed that God has given me guidance and the ability to be strong and even smile a little in spite of how miserable this nightmare has been for me.

I love you, Michael.